drop out: Chapter 5.4
With Christmas less than a week away, Daniel was packing for his flight to Seattle while Casey distracted himself practicing knots and smoking on the deck of Ballina. Daniel was only going to be gone for two weeks but the boys had been together nearly every day since Dia De Los Muertos, most nights too. The Quonset Hut would be closed between Christmas and New Year’s Day, but Casey had agreed to take Daniel’s shifts for the rest of the time and stay on the boat. He was excited to stay on the boat, it was awesome, and the little time he had already spent there alone always put him in a good mood. He figured he would also miss Daniel less this way, plus he would get to work with Vhu. As a bonus, he didn’t have to go back to sleeping at his parent’s house.
Daniel’s flight was the last one out to Seattle, and he didn’t need to be at the airport until 8 pm, so the plan was to give Casey some extra training at the Café after it closed at 6 pm. Daniel’s quick packing allowed time for a final fool around, which the boys leisurely took advantage of. Then, at 5:30, they walked up to the marina bathrooms and showered together; by the time they walked into the Café at 6 pm to meet Vhu, they practically looked like the same person, with the same gait, the same smile, and the same slightly wet hair. Vhu joked, “I thought I was seeing double.” They didn’t get it, and Vhu laughed, motioning to Casey, “Come out back, I’ll show you how to close out for the day and then Danny (Casey had never heard Daniel called Danny before) can walk you through the opening stuff. I know you already know how to make all the drinks and most of the food too.” Vhu shot a sideways look at Daniel, who laughed, holding his hands up, “He gets hungry.” Vhu shook his head sweetly. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, well it paid off, now he works here.” Casey smiled; he knew he was only filling in, but it felt good to hear someone say that he worked somewhere. He really liked Vhu and wanted Vhu to like him too. Vhu already liked Casey though, he liked him the first time he saw him. The truth is Vhu was actually the happiest one about Casey staying at the Quonset Hut for two weeks; he lived on a boat, too, and having Casey around just made the home feel more like home, especially at the holidays. Vhu wouldn’t have been able to explain it if you asked him, not with words anyway. He had never let words get in the way of knowing, Vhu knew that words were just a toolkit for explaining the knowing, a good toolkit but a toolkit nonetheless, and that when words failed, that didn’t mean anything about the knowing, usually, in fact, it meant more.
Casey walked behind the counter and over to the cash register where Vhu was standing, “Ok Casey, so here’s the most important thing to know about the register,” then went to show Casey how to total out the machine with a couple of buttons. Following along with a laminated card with the same directions that Vhu had slid out from under the register. A long receipt began printing, and the register drawer popped open, “That’s it,” Vhu said, taking the receipt and the drawer and turning to walk away. “Now we go check the numbers.” Back in Vhu’s office, they counted the cash, including the coins and a few checks, and Vhu showed Casey how to check the receipt to see how much had been rung up. The register receipt and the money matched up. “Wow! They actually match today,” Vhu laughed, “the tape is usually off by $10 or $20, even $100. One time it was off by $1000.” he laughed more and shook his head. “It’s because the machine is old and sometimes the buttons stick. But, we just write each number down.” “TAPE/CASH” he said, pointing to an envelope where he was writing the words and the amounts for the day: both $975. “Have you used a safe before?” he asked Casey, who was momentarily lost calculating how much business the café was likely doing. He had no idea of the cost to run the business or buy the supplies, but he liked to think about that kind of thing and was running scenarios in his head. “Uh yeah” Casey replied without thinking, and Vhu said, “Great” before Casey could clarify that he really meant no. “It’s a standard left, right, left, and the combo is 11,22,33. Yeah, yeah, I know real secure, but I always used to forget it so now I keep it simple.” Vhu looked at Casey and said, “Ok, you open it.” Casey felt lost but just hunched over the safe and then somehow managed to open it on the first try. “Wonderful” Vhu said, handing Casey the envelope. “Put it on top and then close, spin the lock, and you’re done. Casey added the envelope to the stack and gulped quietly. Then he heard a ringing in his ears. He didn’t want to be trusted with money.
The Kennedys had made Casey feel like he was untrustworthy, and it stuck. They would never trust him with their safe combination or anything valuable. They didn’t even want him to have a key to their house. When he was in 5th grade, some kid brought a bunch of Boy Scout money in his backpack that had gone missing during the day. The school apparently sent notes home to all the parents explaining what happened. Casey didn’t know anything about it, but his parents interrogated him like he had stolen the money, and the next day, while he was at school, they searched his room. His parents had found $120 in $10 and $20 dollar bills and confronted him when he got home. They had the money splayed out on the kitchen table and told him to sit down, his dad said, “Casey, do you recognize this money?” He was confused and shook his head and said “No” he didn’t recognize it, it was just money like all other money. His dad slammed the table. “Damnit!” His mom, looming over him, added: “How could you? Stealing from your classmates.” They were both shaking their heads and glaring at him. He started crying and it would be a long time until he could gather himself enough even to figure out what they were talking about. And then once he did, he told them about how the kid’s older brother had taken the money and given it to the scoutmaster before school so it wasn’t missing after all. When they finally understood him, they didn’t apologize or try to comfort him. Instead, his mother just said, picking up the cash from the table and shaking it in his face, “Well, where did this money come from?” “I don’t know” Casey said, he was shaking his head now too. “Well, we found it hidden in your room,” and then he knew right away. “It’s the money grandma gives me whenever we’re at her house. I’m saving it.” And he had been saving it since 2nd grade, stored in between a set of antique encyclopedias on his bookshelf; they were old, and no one ever used them, but he liked the way they looked, and his grandparents had given them to him when he was a baby.
“Oh” was all they said. His mom walked out of the kitchen without a word but with the money still clutched in her fist as Casey sat motionless until his dad finally said, “You can go.” When Casey got to his room he could tell that they had gone through everything. Most of it, except the books which were still on the floor, had been put back, but he knew they had been gone through; he could feel it. His parents never brought it up again, neither did he, and he never saw his $120 again.
Casey leaned back up from the safe and took in a deep breath. He didn’t know why his ears were ringing. He didn’t remember the missing Boy Scout money incident specifically, he wasn’t thinking about that right now, or anything. But for some reason, he felt like he was in trouble and couldn’t be trusted with money.
Vhu noticed Casey slightly shrink, “It’s never that much money, so don’t stress. If we’re super busy, I usually do a close-out midday so it doesn’t get too high.” Casey exhaled. He didn’t know why he was suddenly tense, but Vhu somehow knew what to say. “Okay, great.” But Vhu also knew there was more, so he put his hand on Casey’s shoulder and said, “Don’t worry, I trust you, you’re a good kid!” Casey looked over and squished up his mouth like he wanted to cry. He felt somehow like he was in his parent’s kitchen and Vhu’s office at the same time, but Vhu had just pulled him back, so now he was only here. “Thanks Vhu” “I mean it” Vhu said and slapped Casey’s shoulder, almost patting him on the back. “I know things about people, and you’re a good kid” Vhu kept looking at Casey until he made eye contact and then nodded with him.
“Ok, now we have a checklist for behind the counter and one for the Café but I know you’ve already helped Daniel do this so I’ll just show you where the cards are and then I’m leaving because it’s date night for Vhu.” They both laughed. Vhu knew how to fix things easily, especially moods. And with that Vhu stood up “See you tomorrow at open” and disappeared into the kitchen to hug Daniel goodbye and then down onto the dock.
Daniel walked Casey through the morning routine, and what he called the “pre-Vhu” routine which included everything Vhu expected to be done before he got in, plus the things Daniel found easier to do if Vhu wasn’t there yet, like grinding the beans for the morning rush and dancing on the mini-stage in the café which Daniel reenacted right there without music. There was still an hour before Daniel had to be at the airport, so Casey made them lattes for practice, and they sat in the empty, dimly lit Café, just being together.
Exactly 60 minutes later, Daniel hopped out of the bus at Lindbergh Field, squeezing Casey’s hand and giving him a peck on the cheek, “Be good, and have fun with Vhu. Oh, and if you need anything for Ballina, just call. I left my parent’s phone number on a post-it on my desk, you can call on Christmas too if you want. I don’t think I can go 2-weeks without talking.” “Same” Casey said, looking a little dreamy. He thought Daniel was magic, and he was watching him like a movie.
The next week flew by, and Casey got the hang of the Café pretty quickly. He and Vhu had a shared language, when the Café was busy, they could work together seamlessly for an hour without a word. They related the same way to the customers, they both knew how people needed to be treated. They liked watching each other interact with people; they were both learning. So when they closed the café at 2 pm on Christmas Eve they were both a bit melancholy. Their week together was essentially over, although not completely, because Daniel didn’t get back until the night of January 3rd, and the Café reopened on New Year’s Day, so they would have 3 more days working together, and they held onto that. It had been a full week, and even though it would seem pretty uneventful on paper, a lot had happened, and they both thought it was good.
The phone on the boat rang just after 8 pm on Christmas night. Casey was settled in reading a book, and while he had never actually heard the phone ring on the boat, he had seen it on Daniel’s desk and knew it was now living under a small pile of his t-shirts. He got up and walked over to the desk, carefully lifting off his t-shirts until the phone was completely visible and its ring unmuffled by the clothing. Then he stood contemplating whether he should answer it at all, because who knew who it could be calling Daniel on Christmas but they certainly wouldn’t be expecting him, then suddenly realizing that it might be Daniel calling, he grabbed for the phone like it was the last ring and blurted into the receiver “SV Ballina, Can I help you?” Daniel laughed loudly, he was beaming. “SV Ballina? I like that” Casey was beaming now too. It’s amazing how much sentiment a voice can carry, how much the sound of a laugh that’s only been gone for a week can fill your heart.
“I was hoping that was you” Casey’s voice came across as soft as his heart felt.
“Well, it is me. Merry Christmas Casey Kennedy”
“Merry Christmas to you Danny”
Both of the boys held the phones tenderly, Casey with both hands like he was holding Daniel’s face up to his.
“Oh my god, it’s so good to hear your voice, I just got back to the boat. I stayed at my parent’s house last night and finally broke away after dinner.”
Casey was selecting words to make sense of things.
“Jesus, they are super awkward, really weird” he said shaking his head to himself.
“Anyway, how was your Christmas? How’s Seattle?”
“Great. The whole trip has been great. My brother brought his new girlfriend home, and she’s great, but it’s been a little weird, too. I mean, it’s fine, not weird, but just a little..”
Daniel paused, squinting his eyes now, searching for his own right words.
“She’s really great, it’s just her college boyfriend, before my brother, turned out to be gay, and she really wanted to talk about, like “gay stuff” and how people know they’re gay, or when they know they’re gay, and just gayness, and you, and anyway it was just a lot more gay talk than I’m used too around my family. Weird right? Like more gay than my actual life.”
They both laughed and then kept on like this, exchanging stories and tidbits from their week apart for over an hour until Casey, suddenly remembering his big news, blurted out:
“Oh my god! I forgot the most incredible thing that happened. It’s so new I forgot, or I don’t even believe it.” Casey started to drift off, recalling the details himself.
“What! What is it?” Daniel was wide-eyed on the other end of the phone.
“Ok, so do you know Vhu’s friend Tommy? The designer?”
“Yeah yeah” Daniel knew Tommy well, he was the one who did most of the design for the Quonset Hut, which, although it looked naturally eclectic, and it sort of was, but was also designed by Tommy and his business partner Michael, an architect who put together restaurants, and bars all over Southern California.
“Well, they came in and spent two days tucked into the big booth, you know the one with the propeller glass table, and I ended up bringing them food and drinks and then talking to them about this project they were working on because they had designs and plans out on the table. And you know me, I just wanted to talk about it because the designs were cool, and then anyway they talked to Vhu and then invited me to come out to Joshua Tree with them and join a crew to work on this like retreat compound project that they’re building for like events, and retreats, and concerts, and like it’s super cool.”
Casey was talking so fast he had to take a breath. Daniel said “No way! Tommy and Michael are super amazing, I’m seriously jealous! Ok details, when? How long? How?”
“Ok, so get this, it’s fucking incredible, they’re already building the site since like September and my part starts at the end of January and goes until like May. At least 3 months, paid! and I get to live in an Airstream trailer too. They have a crew of like 10 people living out there right now, including a chef and all the food is included too, and an amazing outdoor kitchen, they showed me a picture of it, and it was like so cool, and they said it was only a temporary kitchen which is crazy because it looked super nice. They were so great, and it looked so beautiful there too. I’ve never been to Joshua Tree.” Casey finally stopped, nearly out of breath. “Wow! Okay I just said a lot. How are you?”
Daniel laughed, “No, I actually need to hear more, this is factually too cool.”
“Okay, get this, they’re going to pay me $800 a week, and in cash! They said some weeks will be busy, like 7 days, and some we may only work like 3 or 4 days but that either way it’s always fun, even on the busy days.”
“Oh my god Casey, this is the best news ever, seriously I’m so happy for you.”
Daniel was a little jealous, but he was mostly sincerely happy for Casey. He also knew, even though he didn’t say it, that Vhu had worked some magic. He knew because Vhu had worked magic for Daniel too, and he had seen him do it for other people, always people who needed someone in their corner. Vhu knew lots of people, but he also knew lots of things.
“Okay, well, obviously I’ll be back to visit when I can, plus it’s only like 3 hours away, and maybe you can come out to visit. I don’t think a moped will make it though, haha.”
Daniel laughed, “Yes, yes, yes to all of that, so great! Okay, I have to go. We’re having a movie night, but you are really really really my favorite Casey. Super merry Christmas.”
Casey’s smile was beaming through the phone. “Ahhh, you too Daniel. Can’t wait to see you! Jan 03 at 9:15! I will be in the bus to pick you up”
“Yay. I can’t wait to see you. Well, Merry Christmas”
“Merry Christmas” Casey held the phone in his hand so softly now “Bye”
“Bye” Daniel said before hanging up the handset in his childhood home and heading downstairs to the smell of popcorn. Casey felt dreamy, and transported away from everything, he went up on the deck to smoke and look at the bay, bundled up in one of Daniel’s extra blankets.